Rhoda rolls along in life’s sometimes tempestous breeze……

It’s pretty sad to see how disunited the politicians are, though they are seemingly working for the same goal (either for the nation’s well-being, or else their own). I’m referring to the current situation in Malaysia, about a politician who said some racist remarks. Some people said that he is a nationalist. I beg to differ. What exactly about the nation’s well-being is he standing up for? This nation is made up of many races, and he’s only taking into account the well-being of, perhaps, 70% of the people. Does that really count as being a nationlist, only taking care of the majority of the nation?

In my opinion, that doesn’t count. A true nationalist cares for his nation and would not make a remark that would divide his nation. He would care for all the people of his nation equally - be it the poor or the affluent, the powerful or the powerless. My point is that, why bother to call yourself a Malay, Chinese, Indian, Iban, Kadazan, Orang Asli or (insert race) and still claim to be a nationalist? Why not just say that you are a Malaysian, a citizen of Malaysia, seeking the welfare of the nation and be done with it? Are we saying that, just because we are all of different races, that would bring an unequal standing to our position as citizens - or even more basic than that, a human being? I just that that it’s too sad that the ones who are inpower have such a narrow mindset of things. What would become of the country, I wonder?

Disclaimer: I use the word “nationalist” here but the meaning that I stick to it depicts more of a patriot (i.e. person with a love for the fatherland).

Uwah….. My goodness! I’ve shamefully neglected this blog for more than a year. I guess I really am not into blogging. Oh well!

So what happened during my year of radio silence? I think I’ve really been blessed with a good year. Didn’t do too badly in my subjects, resulting in a grand total of GRADUATION.

I can’t really say that I fancy this phase much. It’s a bit too uncertain for my liking - almost similar to the anticipation that one feels while riding a slow climb on the roller coaster car. Argh… the tension! NOT that I’m exactly pulling my hair out of frustration… it’s just me and my nature - can’t stand not knowing what’s going to happen. After all, it’s quite different from how I drifted into pre-university and tertiary education; then, life was almost charted out on a map - my life map, that is.

All I can say that, in spite of living in transitions and getting lost (in translation? Oooh… I like that movie. I really do, just one of my weird taste), God has been good, ever sure, ever true. Amen to that.

Just had a very interesting discussion with my friend. What if the door opens when the MRT is moving? “Oops! I accidentally pressed the wrong button,” the MRT driver exclaimed.

What if you were leaning on the door? Or standing close to it? Weird thoughts, eh? Wait till you hear about this.

Which do you prefer, the door opening in the open air or when the MRT is underground? I said, with lots of conviction, that I prefer the former. Reason: If it’s in the open air, and I fell off, I would probably die immediately (and not suffer); if underground, my face may grate along the tunnel wall and I suffer from pain (and more often than not, not die). Death, okay; torture from pain, no way. Of course, the converse may happen. But then we were talking hypothetically and anything goes. Our thoughts and conversation can be so funny and random.

“And the men took of their victuals, and asked not counsel at the mouth of the LORD.”

Joshua 9v14

Ooooh… I love making informed decisions - practical decisions that takes into account every scenario. It makes me feel good about myself. I feel smart. Intelligent. Wise. I bet Joshua and the leaders of Israel felt the same way too. Perhaps, deep down in their hearts, they felt a satisfaction of having people praise them; their vanity pleased. “My, we heard about your people and your heroics and we just have to see for ourselves.”

What a slippery slope to depend on ourselves. Be it our intellect, strength or “gut feel”, there’s no such thing as a sure 100% no-fail guarantee. We can deceive ourselves, putting up false markers and rationalising away wrong turns. Our only sure way of making a really wise decision is to turn to God and God alone.

I struggle with myself. Do I take the easy path or the hard? Circumstance points this way but God says that way. Which to choose? I struggle even more in CF. We have the people; let’s go for it. This is exciting; should we include this? What to decide on?

Show me Your way, O Lord. Help me to depend on You.

Caste systems, racism, aryanism, antisemitism, white man’s burden…

The list goes on and on. I believe that all these are derived from the selfish nature of humans. Isn’t it true? I mean that if we are really honest with ourselves, we will see that all that we do boils down to ME and MYSELF - entertainment for self-gratification; helping people to feel good about self; learning for self-advancement (and perhaps so that we can look down on others). Even spending time with family may mean relief of guilt especially if we haven’t been spending time with them or because others are watching or just to feel good (yes, I don’t deny that love do play a major part in this case but there’s still a little, teeny bit of “I” in this). Basically, we do things that has a certain payoff for us.

The list above also gives us an example of human selfishness in history. Take for example, aryanism. Nothing can be more attractive and appealing than being able to elevate self to a higher level and to be able to display a holier-than-thou attitude thus resulting in the infamous Holocaust. Pride may have brought about the caste system. “Get away from me, oh you untouchables! I’m a Brahmin, for goodness sake - too good for the likes of you.” Antisemitism probably arises because we need to have a convenient scapegoat that we can blame everything. You have to admit it’s convenient! Stock market crash, blame the Jews. Global warming, blame the Jews. Fell off the bicycle, blame the Jews. Hey, they deserved it. After all, they were pictured as God-killers in the New Testament (of course, I will have to conveniently forget the fact that the Jews were the chosen people in the bible; I will also have to conveniently ignore the fact that a person cannot be charge with the wrongdoings of another person). The fear and hatred displayed in this case are just some symptoms of selfishness - to justify our case. Such is the sad case of homo sapiens and we dared to call ourselves the highest order being on earth. What irony! What foolishness! What blindness!

Ps: Words here are meant to highlight the sad case of human selfishness, not as a support for antisemitism, aryanism, caste system, etc. Please do not misquote me.

These few days, I’ve been looking through quite a lot of bible study materials (Ok… not too much but a lot for my standards). Can’t imagine how hard it is to just find a suitable theme for the CG bible study that are in line with the direction of the year as well as able to help achieve the CF vision.

Themes that went through my mind:

• discipleship (but such a wide area)
• studies on the book of psalms
• prayer (can connect to psalm? but is this too inward looking?)
• nature of God (e.g. love, holiness etc.)
• accounts of encounters with God in the bible
• and lots, lots more

So many options, so many possibilities and so little time. What’s more confusing is that I’m listening to a Japanese Christian internet radio (BNN) when I don’t understand the language (Ok… just a smattering like Arigatou and Konnichiwa. And that Kami-sama refers to God.)

Oh God, just zap me with some real wonderful ideas that is relevant, practical and yet meeting the needs for the next year. You will not fail me!

“Every heart with Christ, a missionary; every heart without Christ, a mission field.” (Charles Richard “Dick” Hills)

What is my life’s goal? To do the will of Him who saved me and sent me? Will I be able to echo Isaiah’s willingness to be sent - to give up everything, take up my cross daily, deny myself and follow the Lord?

If only I could remember everyday that the Lord Jesus has come to make our burdens light and give us rest (Matthew 11v28-30). If only I could always remember the love of Christ and be compelled by it. If only I could remember (in times of peace and comfort) that millions untold is heading to death and hell. Alas, my forgetfulness and complacency have kept me from doing His will fully.

“There is nothing so short as the Christian’s memory.” (Martin Luther)

When I got down from the bus today, a cool breeze was blowing gaily. The weather was cloudy - just the day meant for a walk. So that’s what I did. Walked all the way back to my room. That took about 45 minutes (since that bus stop is about 8 bus stops away).

The walk was uneventful save for the very slight drizzle of rain. Three-fourth of the journey, I suffered from a full bladder (with no prospect of going to the washroom - either leak or persevere on to the end).  Crap! Lack of foresight? Maybe or else I’m just plain crazy then. Thank God that I reached the base before leaking. ^_^!

“For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”

Galatians 5v13

“My beloved spoke, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;”

Song of Solomon 2v10-11

God calls us with endearing terms and when he calls, the winter and rain in our hearts will be gone. Let our hearts be joyful as spring.